Wednesday, was a rough day, at least emotionally. We visited a baby house for new born to three year old orphans and then the boys’ home for mentally retarded children from three to twenty years old. We are looking into doing bible classes at the baby house and we will be doing a Vacation Bible School at the boys’ home in July. The baby house had fifty-four children and the boys’ home had one hundred and fifty.
The director of the baby house said some things that really disturbed me. She said that they had room for sixty children, but that they had “lost” some to adoption. Then she said that it was fortunate that they passed a law that limits the number of foster children a family can have at one time. She explained that if people are allowed to care for all of these children in their homes, then the staff at the baby house would loose their jobs. When she told us that, Edna leaned over and said to me that the director should pray for the day when they all loose their jobs because there aren’t anymore orphans.
It was extremely difficult to walk into rooms with giant cribs in the middle filled with little undersized children who would reach out to you and cry, “Mama! Papa!” Some had physical or mental disabilities while others were just a product of their environment. One room had only children with AIDS who were basically given no hope of any kind of future.
There was one little boy who was all smiles and his eyes lit up when he saw us. All I could do was smile at him and hold his hand. His legs were twisted up behind him and he basically had no use of his arms and only limited use of one hand. All he could do was to roll from side to side and lift up his head to flash a bright smile. I was totally unprepared for what I saw. I’m still having a hard time processing some of the images I was confronted with. I can understand why people wouldn’t want to visit there. The rewards can be great, but at the same time it’s a painful situation to witness. I pray that God will give me the strength to be able to take light to dark places.
I was glad that we went and were able to at least show some small bit of kindness, but what we saw and felt left us broken and drained. It was painfully clear to me that the needs we saw can’t be met by us alone. I left feeling completely helpless and overwhelmed with the thought of how those children have suffered and will continue to suffer.
It was so hard to take in all that I saw in both places on Wednesday. I saw things I wish never existed. I had to fight back my emotions several times and force myself not to cry. But I cried inside for each one of those precious children. Those babies were so tiny and underfed. And so many problems existed with them. I wondered, “What’s going on here in Ukraine? Is it the darkness over this country?” I don’t understand it. Maybe I never will. But, I was holding all of these babies and loving them and wishing I could just take them home to love them. I wish things were that simple, but they aren’t. I couldn’t help but think that there’s nothing I can do to make a difference here. It’s too much. All I can do is pray. I am praying for a way that the Lord will use me in their lives. I am just relying on Him to lead me in His direction.
It seemed to me that the conditions in The Boys’ Home were worse. The conditions were bad and the way they lived made me so sad. I am looking forward to doing the VBS at the Boys’ Home in July. The Baby House is closed, but because God’s Hidden Treasure gives money there monthly, we can go in there. I plan on meeting with the Director again so that I can make regular visits there. Please pray for God’s hand to be in it all and to use me in whatever way He sees fit.